Well, I decided to reward my frontal cortex yesterday and skip my daily Concerta/Prozac dose. I survived, and I actually felt quite laid back all day. I brought two of my ADHD handbooks to read, but of course I've been procrastinating finishing them. I think that it takes me about 3-4 months to read one book and actually be able to comprehend what it is about. Not bad. I was at about 2 years before I started my journey.
My life coach got "on me" after our last session. She's pretty sharp, and knows when I am trying to hide something from her. I look at the ADHD related struggles I have as problems. She was quick to correct me and call them " Challenges". I need to practice positive self talk, and be more kind to myself.
She also brought up the point that she is not a mind reader. If I am struggling I need to be able to ask for help. If I struggle and don't ask for help, then it will be no surprise when I slowly drown.
So, my New Years resolution is simple. I'm going to ask for help when i'm struggling. That sounds doable. Although, I also do need to start a gym routine and lose 40 pounds- self advocacy sounds strangely fulfilling.
~D~
Making Peace
After getting quite upset at one of my professors this semester over accommodations, I might have learned my lesson. In my philosophy class, I had no problem with class participation. I was an engaged learner, for 8am. I was keeping up with the assignments. But then, the assignments, none of which were listed in the syllabus, started to overlap. :::Begin the sinking scene now:: I didn't have the work done so saw no value in going to class. I knew I had work to do, but was practicing active avoidance because homework was the last thing I wanted to do. Well, I eventually caught back up, and handed in everything.
Things came to a head in particular with this professor when I incorrectly cited a list of Germanic Deities. Instead of putting the usual " Cite?" comment, he decided to be a smartass. He instead wrote the comment " Were you channeling Thor?" . He pulled me after class last week and wanted to discuss, in depth, how disappointed he was in my writing abilities. I felt like I was being talked down to, and I just nodded yes to everything he was saying.
Well, today after our last class he pulled me aside again. He asked if I had any problems going on at home. Apparently he felt as though I had "disappeared " during the course of the semester. All of a sudden, a light bulb went off. I explained to him that I was receiving services from the college for my learning disability. I also explained that I started having trouble, and was ashamed to have to ask for help.
Things all made sense. Teachers cannot read minds. I need to explain to these teachers right from the get-go that I am in need of accomendations. This way, I'm not waiting until I already am sinking.
At least it only took my one semester to learn this lesson =)
Things came to a head in particular with this professor when I incorrectly cited a list of Germanic Deities. Instead of putting the usual " Cite?" comment, he decided to be a smartass. He instead wrote the comment " Were you channeling Thor?" . He pulled me after class last week and wanted to discuss, in depth, how disappointed he was in my writing abilities. I felt like I was being talked down to, and I just nodded yes to everything he was saying.
Well, today after our last class he pulled me aside again. He asked if I had any problems going on at home. Apparently he felt as though I had "disappeared " during the course of the semester. All of a sudden, a light bulb went off. I explained to him that I was receiving services from the college for my learning disability. I also explained that I started having trouble, and was ashamed to have to ask for help.
Things all made sense. Teachers cannot read minds. I need to explain to these teachers right from the get-go that I am in need of accomendations. This way, I'm not waiting until I already am sinking.
At least it only took my one semester to learn this lesson =)
Snow Day!
I'm finally feeling settled down again since the Doc increased my doesage. No more chest pains. Generally good. I'm trying to focus on what I can do instead of what I cant. Instead of getting frustrated at myself for losing focus, I am embracing where my attention span wanders. By not being impulsive at all, I feel like i'm trying to suppress who I am. I was missing my boyfriend, who was away on business, and made some impulsive purchases. I went to Staples, which is kind of like my Naughty Place. I love office products, and I'm well aware that there is a twelve step program for my quasi-obsession. So anyways, I went in to "look around" and walked out $112.36 poorer. Did I need anything? Nopers. But I had a few things- like new speakers, memory cards, tech toys, that I had been actively trying to not but for a few months. Well, my boyfriend acts as my " No" person, so I took this opportunity to say YES to the things that I wanted. It felt good, and I didn't beat myself up over it.
Life Coaching
So, I had my first session with my new Life Coach last night. After obsessively researching it for months, I finally bit the bullet and picked one professional to try out. It wasn't at all what I had imagined, but I feel it's just what I need. She really wants to empower me to accomplish the things I aspire for. Hopefully, she can help me get into a routine and out of my bad procrastination habits. I have homework! I have to get up at 5am without hitting the snooze alarm, and shower, make a healthy breakfast, and get dressed up nice complete with hair and makeup in nice clothes. I need to do this twice, and notify her when I do.
This may sound overly simple.
It's not.
This will be a challenge.
Hopefully, by starting my day out calm and in a steady routine I can lessen my anxiety levels for the day. Here's to a successful week.
This may sound overly simple.
It's not.
This will be a challenge.
Hopefully, by starting my day out calm and in a steady routine I can lessen my anxiety levels for the day. Here's to a successful week.
Life Coaching
So, I had my first session with my new Life Coach last night. After obsessively researching it for months, I finally bit the bullet and picked one professional to try out. It wasn't at all what I had imagined, but I feel it's just what I need. She really wants to empower me to accomplish the things I aspire for. Hopefully, she can help me get into a routine and out of my bad procrastination habits. I have homework! I have to get up at 5am without hitting the snooze alarm, and shower, make a healthy breakfast, and get dressed up nice complete with hair and makeup in nice clothes. I need to do this twice, and notify her when I do.
This may sound overly simple.
It's not.
This will be a challenge.
Hopefully, by starting my day out calm and in a steady routine I can lessen my anxiety levels for the day. Here's to a successful week.
This may sound overly simple.
It's not.
This will be a challenge.
Hopefully, by starting my day out calm and in a steady routine I can lessen my anxiety levels for the day. Here's to a successful week.
The Pros and Cons
Hyperfocus. This term is very hard to describe to a non-ADHDer. As I sit at my kitchen table with a mountain of homework to , I decide to research my next day planner purchase online- for TWO HOURS. Yes, I know this is a complete and utter waste of time, but I cannot pull myself away from this task. To me, this is hyperfocus. Call it having a one track mind that's very stubborn. This often leads to hours passing by and nothing productive getting done ( except wasting time).
There have been a few times where I have been blessed enough to have been hyperfocused on my schoolwork or paperwork. More often than not, I tend to get hyperfocused on something that i should NOT be doing!
There have been a few times where I have been blessed enough to have been hyperfocused on my schoolwork or paperwork. More often than not, I tend to get hyperfocused on something that i should NOT be doing!
The Pros and Cons
Hyperfocus. This term is very hard to describe to a non-ADHDer. As I sit at my kitchen table with a mountain of homework to , I decide to research my next day planner purchase online- for TWO HOURS. Yes, I know this is a complete and utter waste of time, but I cannot pull myself away from this task. To me, this is hyperfocus. Call it having a one track mind that's very stubborn. This often leads to hours passing by and nothing productive getting done ( except wasting time).
There have been a few times where I have been blessed enough to have been hyperfocused on my schoolwork or paperwork. More often than not, I tend to get hyperfocused on something that i should NOT be doing!
There have been a few times where I have been blessed enough to have been hyperfocused on my schoolwork or paperwork. More often than not, I tend to get hyperfocused on something that i should NOT be doing!
And in the beginning...
So, here I am. The self proclaimed "ADHD Diva". Why write this blog you may ask? The simple explanation is that I got tired of my ADHD stuff overpowering my personal blog. I come across alot of great resources, and I hope that this will be a great way to share with others out there searching for more information.
I was diagnosed this year, and the ripe old age of 24. The hardest part of getting diagnosed was actually getting myself in the door to my psychiatrist. I work in Mental Health, so I went in as a smart-ass know it all. My psychiatrist and I had many disagreements , and I think at this point it's amazing he still puts up with my garbage. I knew for many years that I had been underperforming a home, school, and at work. I was first diagnosed with Depression. I insisted that I just got down on myself because I felt like I could never finish anything I started. What's the point of getting up and doing anything if you're not going to finish it? I had also been getting anxiety attacks. My whirlwind of clutter and chaos had made things feel unbearable. This manifested itself that I would get panic attacks in the car while driving. I was so worried that another driver would pull out and hit me, or a car would stop short- I was on edge the whole ride. I get getting distracted on the road by not being able to focus in on what I was doing. I was too busy watching all the other idiots on the road! So, in the timespan of a month, I now was officially diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and ADHD.
So, where did I go from here? I started on a cocktail of meds. For about three months I played around with different meds and dosages. I felt like a lab rat, but was determined to give it a shot. Finally, I settled on my current cocktail of: Concerta 36mg and Prozac 20mg in the morning. I read books now, I can keep things semi-clean. I'm a work in progress. Now that the skeletons are out of the my closet, I hope that I can provide some things that make living with ADHD as a adult just a little easier.
I'm not an expert, and definitely not a specialist. I'm just trying to make sense of the world through ADHD colored glasses =)
I was diagnosed this year, and the ripe old age of 24. The hardest part of getting diagnosed was actually getting myself in the door to my psychiatrist. I work in Mental Health, so I went in as a smart-ass know it all. My psychiatrist and I had many disagreements , and I think at this point it's amazing he still puts up with my garbage. I knew for many years that I had been underperforming a home, school, and at work. I was first diagnosed with Depression. I insisted that I just got down on myself because I felt like I could never finish anything I started. What's the point of getting up and doing anything if you're not going to finish it? I had also been getting anxiety attacks. My whirlwind of clutter and chaos had made things feel unbearable. This manifested itself that I would get panic attacks in the car while driving. I was so worried that another driver would pull out and hit me, or a car would stop short- I was on edge the whole ride. I get getting distracted on the road by not being able to focus in on what I was doing. I was too busy watching all the other idiots on the road! So, in the timespan of a month, I now was officially diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and ADHD.
So, where did I go from here? I started on a cocktail of meds. For about three months I played around with different meds and dosages. I felt like a lab rat, but was determined to give it a shot. Finally, I settled on my current cocktail of: Concerta 36mg and Prozac 20mg in the morning. I read books now, I can keep things semi-clean. I'm a work in progress. Now that the skeletons are out of the my closet, I hope that I can provide some things that make living with ADHD as a adult just a little easier.
I'm not an expert, and definitely not a specialist. I'm just trying to make sense of the world through ADHD colored glasses =)
And in the beginning...
So, here I am. The self proclaimed "ADHD Diva". Why write this blog you may ask? The simple explanation is that I got tired of my ADHD stuff overpowering my personal blog. I come across alot of great resources, and I hope that this will be a great way to share with others out there searching for more information.
I was diagnosed this year, and the ripe old age of 24. The hardest part of getting diagnosed was actually getting myself in the door to my psychiatrist. I work in Mental Health, so I went in as a smart-ass know it all. My psychiatrist and I had many disagreements , and I think at this point it's amazing he still puts up with my garbage. I knew for many years that I had been underperforming a home, school, and at work. I was first diagnosed with Depression. I insisted that I just got down on myself because I felt like I could never finish anything I started. What's the point of getting up and doing anything if you're not going to finish it? I had also been getting anxiety attacks. My whirlwind of clutter and chaos had made things feel unbearable. This manifested itself that I would get panic attacks in the car while driving. I was so worried that another driver would pull out and hit me, or a car would stop short- I was on edge the whole ride. I get getting distracted on the road by not being able to focus in on what I was doing. I was too busy watching all the other idiots on the road! So, in the timespan of a month, I now was officially diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and ADHD.
So, where did I go from here? I started on a cocktail of meds. For about three months I played around with different meds and dosages. I felt like a lab rat, but was determined to give it a shot. Finally, I settled on my current cocktail of: Concerta 36mg and Prozac 20mg in the morning. I read books now, I can keep things semi-clean. I'm a work in progress. Now that the skeletons are out of the my closet, I hope that I can provide some things that make living with ADHD as a adult just a little easier.
I'm not an expert, and definitely not a specialist. I'm just trying to make sense of the world through ADHD colored glasses =)
I was diagnosed this year, and the ripe old age of 24. The hardest part of getting diagnosed was actually getting myself in the door to my psychiatrist. I work in Mental Health, so I went in as a smart-ass know it all. My psychiatrist and I had many disagreements , and I think at this point it's amazing he still puts up with my garbage. I knew for many years that I had been underperforming a home, school, and at work. I was first diagnosed with Depression. I insisted that I just got down on myself because I felt like I could never finish anything I started. What's the point of getting up and doing anything if you're not going to finish it? I had also been getting anxiety attacks. My whirlwind of clutter and chaos had made things feel unbearable. This manifested itself that I would get panic attacks in the car while driving. I was so worried that another driver would pull out and hit me, or a car would stop short- I was on edge the whole ride. I get getting distracted on the road by not being able to focus in on what I was doing. I was too busy watching all the other idiots on the road! So, in the timespan of a month, I now was officially diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and ADHD.
So, where did I go from here? I started on a cocktail of meds. For about three months I played around with different meds and dosages. I felt like a lab rat, but was determined to give it a shot. Finally, I settled on my current cocktail of: Concerta 36mg and Prozac 20mg in the morning. I read books now, I can keep things semi-clean. I'm a work in progress. Now that the skeletons are out of the my closet, I hope that I can provide some things that make living with ADHD as a adult just a little easier.
I'm not an expert, and definitely not a specialist. I'm just trying to make sense of the world through ADHD colored glasses =)
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