Looking back, I have had ADHD for the better part of my life. When I try to explain my shortcoming with my family, they are quick to tell me that there's nothing wrong with me. "Let me show you my ADHD.. it's in the basement!" Now, hold on. In the basement? Oh yes! In the back of my mothers basement sita a large rubbermaid tub. Inside, there are about 40 skeins of yarn. Now, as you pick up each one you will notice a pair of needles or hooks dangling from each one. Every color or yarn has been started, had about 3 or 4 rows done, and abandoned just around the one inch mark. There, in that bin, are scarves and hats I fervently assured my family I was going to make them for Christmas a few years back. There they sit, next to a bookshelf filled with books I " had to have" that I only read the first chapter of, if that. There they sit, and will continue to sit.
WHen you're an adult with ADHD, you have no filter. Every single idea is an amazing idea, and oyu must run out and act on them. If you try to subdue the impulse, you get a nasty pain in your brain, much like the feeling you get when you drink a slurpee too fast. So, that is how we end up with 25 hobbies, and enough started projects for each of those hobbies to last us a few lifetimes. Just a you get focused on that new scarf or book, the ADHD winds blow in and POOF- I really should clean out my files, and then POOF I really need to get caught up on my homework, then POOF Wow I think it's time for bed. There is no holding onto your focus once it has shifted, an ADHD adult is just along for the ride at that point.
This is every day. It is not fun.
Must See Video
Add and Loving It?
http://news.globaltv.com/Loving/2009300/story.html
Almost 45 minutes long, but totally worth it.
http://news.globaltv.com/Loving/2009300/story.html
Almost 45 minutes long, but totally worth it.
SO...
I have a confession to make. I am a library fugitive. When I was on meds the first time around, I was able to do the check out and return thingie. Well, Since my medication holiday, I now owe the Mid-Hudson Library a little over two-hundred dollars. If they were to look up the books I had checked out, all which were ADHD, organization books, and procrastination books- they would have understood who I had not returned the books. I took these books out back in November. Not only are they all unread, they are all sitting in the same tote bag I brought them home in- which is currently under a few comforters that have fallen on the floor that I've been *meaning* to pick up for a long time.
So, when I get my income tax I will pay my fines so I can be an upstanding citizen once again. Maybe I will even read then! ADHD reading is much like a 3 year old trying to read a picture book. We flip/scan two or three pages, and then wow I really need to take a nap.
My fiance and I watched Up last night. To those who saw it, I hope you can appreciate the similarities between the dogs and our ADHD minds. Because the dogs were outfitted with special collars, humans could understand then. The dogs, mid-sentence would change topics completely.
I feel like this exemplifies me. How many times do we interrupt out partners or friends to interject a thought that has no relevance to the current conversation.
So, when I get my income tax I will pay my fines so I can be an upstanding citizen once again. Maybe I will even read then! ADHD reading is much like a 3 year old trying to read a picture book. We flip/scan two or three pages, and then wow I really need to take a nap.
My fiance and I watched Up last night. To those who saw it, I hope you can appreciate the similarities between the dogs and our ADHD minds. Because the dogs were outfitted with special collars, humans could understand then. The dogs, mid-sentence would change topics completely.
I feel like this exemplifies me. How many times do we interrupt out partners or friends to interject a thought that has no relevance to the current conversation.
ugh
So, with the start of any new medication, I am not impressed. After you take the first pill, you almost yearn for that instant relief. I have been hoping for that the past two days. My migraine has been going for three days now. My concentration is pathetic. I couldn't tall you about what we talked about in Intro to Stat. However, I could show you the cool flower and bird I sketched in my notebook while I should have been paying attention. Sucks right? I'm back to my " not wanting to do anything" phase. I had to fight to go to class today. I had at least 10 reason why doing something else was better than going to class. Maybe tomorrow I will try some little 5mg or 10mg Rittalin Pills to see if it makes things any better.
All good and bad things come to an end....
So, after over a month without meds, my medication holiday will come to an end tomorrow. I went to see a new doctor today. He actually talked to me, not at me. He didn't dismiss my concerns. I will start on Effextor(sp?) 37 mg OD tomorrow. We shall see how it goes. His plan is to increase the dosage after one week to 2 tabs in the AM. He also had me repeat some number /letter sequences to him forwards and backwards. The backwards part was literally painful. It made my brain hurt. He actually concurred that my ADHD has a significance impact on my livelihood. So, I feel optimistic about this new doctor. A neurologist, who would have thought?
On a side note, my wonderful boyfriend was there to help me remember all my things I wanted to say-- and a few I was too embarrassed to bring up.<3
On a side note, my wonderful boyfriend was there to help me remember all my things I wanted to say-- and a few I was too embarrassed to bring up.<3
